Dear Terra,
Although my family loves me dearly, they seem to be purposely sabotaging my weight loss progress and it’s becoming very frustrating. It feels like they are trying to think of the most fattening foods and ways to prepare them just to derail me. So far, my strategy has been to go to my bedroom at night and watch tv to avoid them, but I don’t think I can do that forever! Has anyone else experienced this issue with family and do you have any suggestions?

Dear Frenzied By Family-

This is a tough one but no, you’re not alone. The challenge of saboteurs often comes up when making any lifestyle change. Change can be scary because it’s new and different and many don’t like the “unknown”. A very lovely and intelligent freind of mine who specializes in behavior change, once advised me to use the term “transition” instead of change, due to the impact the word alone carries in people’s minds.

So what to do? Well, we know we can’t changes others, they have to do it themselves, so my suggestion is to give them as much direction as possible. At an opportune moment when the momentum of everyday life is a bit slower, sit them down and give it to them straight. Let me repeat: GIVE IT TO THEM STRAIGHT. No hem-hawing around, sugar-coating or apologizing. In your own words, of course, but it might sound something like this: “Listen guys, I do A LOT around here for everyone and I love being here to support all of you. But being in a family is a two way street and I’m working on something very, very important to ME–my own personal health. I need YOUR support. This isn’t just about how I look, it’s about how I feel and my overall health and well being. I can’t stress enough how much getting my eating under control means to me and when you ……….(Fill in the blank)……it makes me feel uncared for and unsupported. Here’s what I would like you to do to help me so that I can get my weight under control and live my life with the energy and vitality I need to enjoy all that we have going on in our famliy. (Fill in the below, clearly labeled top 3 things they can do)
1.
2.
3.”

This is a great topic to discuss in a meeting, so please feel free to bring it up or remind me to do so. Everyone handles this situation differently, so to hear other’s experience can be very helpful. I hope this offers a start and I wish you nothing but the best!!!